I am vulnerable living in the unknown.
Oh yes, I have my patterns, my familiars, my adaptive powers AND I am vulnerable living in the unknown.
To hide, minimize, pretend that I am not vulnerable is to lie to myself.
To lie, I must feed my fear and numb my sense-abilities, my ability to sense that I am vulnerable living in the unknown.
To not sense myself is to not be myself.
To not be myself is to ignore myself, forget myself, lose myself.
To lose myself is to lose my protection, my being, and wear a mask.
To lose my protection, my being, and wear a mask I must be sombody else, somebody who is not vulnerable not living in the un-known.
To be somebody who is NOT vulnerable not living in the un-known, I must act tougher, smarter, more something or other.
To act tougher or smarter I must believe that it is necessary to hurt or defeat another in order to not be hurt or defeated myself.
To let myself feel my vulnerability is to remember my vulnerability from long ago and how it was exploited, bull-dozed over, not noticed.
I must remember or I will forget that I am vulnerable living in the unknown—still.
I must remember so that I can recognize myself.
To recognize myself is to pay attention to myself.
To pay attention to myself is to protect myself, to be with myself.
To protect myself, to be with myself, I must know myself and what I need.
To know myself and what I need, I must learn about myself.
To learn about myself, I must be open.
To be open, I must be vulnerable living in the unknown.